ok face it now he's gone. i'm facing it. i'll keep facing it, every time i miss him and wish he was here, if the lake opens and i swim again i'll face the open water without my swimming companion and i'll see you in my water memories, swimming in light, keeping watch over me. the world feels so different, yet the same, today without you. how different the same world can be, without the one you counted on watching for you every day. i'm so childish, i wanted you to live forever, but i could have died first, and i know you would be waiting for someone knowing it couldn't be me, and you would have kept on going, into and into, and into the world without me.