it does make a difference what you say and feel and perceive, i am grateful to you sarah. and mister and i, we had such a beautiful time. i will still be absorbing it for a long time. i only hope i didn't take him for granted too much. i really hope he had a good life, i've had problems, but i think we worked remarkably well as a team. i worry that my life, and the blog will be impoverished without him. he showed me, i can say he shows me, there is pure uninhibited love and grace and peace in this life.