i'm letting go of things still. i kept just one of andrew's pithy humorous and poignant works, your weakness appalls me. i just said a couple days ago i was set to vacate the studio in two months and they already want to show it, but i'm not ready, nor is the studio. i feel emotional. it's nerve-wracking. oh my god it could be so much worse. people are being bombed in their homes. people are being forced to leave, with nowhere to go. i'm thankful i'm not being bombed or evicted and i have somewhere to go.

 lulu protects my poster and leaves an aura of protection there. we feel in our hearts solidarity with all sentient beings wanting to be free.

 my keffiyeh feels like a hug, but a kid got shot for wearing his, so maybe i should only wear it at home. i posted this and someone said it's an ambiguous statement like a flag or a slogan, and someone said don't forget you are white. i don't feel it's an ambiguous statement, and i can never forget i'm white, but can't i feel feel solidarity with oppressed people. am i trapped in whiteness? ambiguous means open to interpretation or having a double meaning or unclear or inexact because a choice between alternatives has not been made. a choice has been made, but of course everything is open to interpretation. i think the ambiguity arises in the mind, and we may do well to follow our gut and our heart.

 it's crazy, i send a message to r. in the other room and it goes to outer space and comes back down hours later. i walk to the other room and read it off my laptop.

there must be a limit to how much propaganda can alter or replace reality, and there must be a limit to how much nature itself can be altered to serve human utility, and at some point surely war will cease to be regarded as a path to peace, and never again will no longer be a specious slogan used to justify genocide by the evil empire.

 do they work? i don't know yet. maybe my eyes will adjust. maybe the little clear glasses looked better. maybe everything will be alright, maybe i'll adjust, maybe the floater in my left eye is ok, i'm getting older and tired, squinting, blinking and sighing. anyway, being as it is, let's assume everything is ok, even if it doesn't quite feel ok.

i know there are many more evil monsters in power still malingering, but i'm glad at least henry kissinger is dead. 

 

happy birthday tony!

 

 so kissinger finally croaked. yeah, i heard. i mean what can you say? would that it spelled the end of the evil empire. right? but nah, it's gonna get worse, for sure. you mean like armageddon? something like that i recon. evil is the fuel of empire.

the oligarchs—they take our money and our parks and make more money from war.

 

 hooly, now we gots ta be out a there in a month. i thought maybe 2 months was more than ample, but basically we gotta shift b4 xmas. Scheißspiel, s'ok.

obamachronic (criminals rule).

 

 the killing joke. from a few days ago when we didn't re-watch the joker. we watched peter thompson. maybe tonight. it would be a fun double feature with the joker and napoleon. i feel the need to watch or read some things twice now even though there's so much it's impossible to see. maybe that's why. oh, it seems like everything is going off script now, at the same time we're realizing there was a script, a false narrative. 

 i hope my new glasses work. they arrived yesterday but the shop is closed today. my eyes are dry and itchy and my brain feels dessicated. there are dark rings under my eyes, or maybe it's the light in the old medicine cabinet mirror. i'm blinking and straining to see. all the senses are critical, but some of them atrophy, it would really be hard to not see. what would i do? i couldn't walk the dog. i'd have to get a dog to walk me.

we went to the thalidomide tree sculpture and pinned a free palestine poster on it, then looked for mister's little found ball charlie and i lost. lulu found a dirty tennis ball, and we went to the quads. i don't usually bring lu there as she gets too excited but i wanted to see what was happening. there was a rally for palestine, some passionate speakers, and people sitting around making art of solidarity on the grass. no blindfolded teddy bears. israel was peripheral, evidence of things unseen. i expect the poster will already be gone, but every lost thing has an echo.

now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. for by it the elders obtained a good testimony. by faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of god, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which are visible.

hebrews 11:1-6

got a punkin loaf in the oven.

 

 i think of dad, now i'm only 8 years younger than him. at the time i thought, so young, but as i get closer to his age i wonder, it seems like 8 years is a long time, will i grow older than him?

 i haven't heard it said in a while but for some reason i thought of it yesterday, when people say their animals love food, not them. bizarre, and abzurd. sad, rather, that someone doesn't feel the love being, or yearning to be,  lavished on them. but it's ok, they'll get it anyway, if not through their mind, through their skin. 

 lulu and i went to the free palestine rally. i asked for a keffiyeh and they cost ten bones and i said i'll have two but there was only one so i shared it with lu.  

 

 
charlie meets the elephant in the garden.

 

if you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. if you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you, thomas said. i broke the glasses i found with mister on the footpath by the lake some twelve years ago. my new ray bans arrived yesterday. let's hope i see more clearly. the old ones saw a lot of dog walks and lasted beyond the life of mister. time of bones and ashes and dust, bringing forth and clearing out, new life for old. 

 i still don't know if i've been shadow banned, but i know tammy duckworth lost both legs in iraq and won't support ceasefire.

 katie and lulu play so good. 

instead of trying to decide whether or not it officially qualifies as genocide they could just work on preventing genocide, but the merchants of death wouldn't buy that, it would annihilate their bottom line.

 after chasing squirrels charlie goes to the free palestine table. she has good political sense the fellows say. 

pleas, no more genocide joe.

 

grief, despair, confusion, overwhelm and longing
produce internal resistance to the status quo.
gratuitous, ongoing violence between people blurs
with gratuitous, ongoing violence towards the land
and the constant extraction of life for profit.
as singular episodes and focal points of distress broaden,
their interlinking systemic causes become more clear.
once you’ve seen something, you can’t unsee it
and you’ll start to see it everywhere. 


emobodied astrology, sagittarius season

 

 

• Preparations are being made for an unknown future

• Labor and sacrifice are required now for future success

• Ordeals and tests. Thresholds must be crossed

• Everything that follows depends on how we meet these challenges

• Perspective and attitude have a lot to do with process and outcome.

• Heaven and hell are within us. 

• Tune in with what’s being asked of you. Help others listen to their own questions

• Different skills are required, so many are needed. 

• Everyone has a role in the revolution

Embodied Astrology, Sagittarius Season

 word of the day, enantiodromia, referring to the emergence 

of the unconscious opposite in the course of time. 

this characteristic phenomenon practically always occurs 

when an extreme, one-sided tendency dominates conscious life; 

in time an equally powerful counterposition is built up, 

which first inhibits the conscious performance and subsequently 

breaks through the conscious control. 

enantiodromia is typically experienced in conjunction 

with symptoms associated with acute neurosis, 

and often foreshadows a rebirth of the personality. 

the grand plan on which the unconscious life of the psyche 

is constructed is so inaccessible to our understanding 

that we can never know what evil may not be necessary 

in order to produce good by enantiodromia, 

and what good may very possibly lead to evil.

enantiodromia also refers to the process whereby one seeks out 

and embraces an opposing quality from within, internalizing it 

in a way that results in individual wholeness. 

this process is the crux of jung's notion called 

the "path of individuation." 

one must incorporate an opposing archetype into their psyche 

to obtain a state of internal 'completion.'

(it's a lot of words for the word of the day, but it seems to describe the state of things).

Our voices are silenced and existence erased. Some feel threatened to speak out. It is an audacity. It is angering.