he was tired. he was ready. i was not, yet i was, as he was. we would never be ready otherwise. we want to live. who wants to die? i'm inconsolable now, but i will be consoled. for now let me be unconsoled in the place where we were always together. i'll be in the place of goodbye, where he left, but can't be gone. his image will stay in my mind. i want to keep writing though my head hurts from crying, and hunger. it's so sad, he was hungry, his spirit and his hunger alive. if i could have made him better, if i could have made his body light as his spirit, if he could be the same spirit animal who gave life to me. what, a spirit animal can't die, a spirit animal is for life. then i think, oh come on, he's gone, words, words. we should have more time, now i'm left with words and memories, left to go on. but such memories, remember, so much to remember, this is the stuff of dreams, of life, remember the struggles, remember our life was like a dream. ok mister, i'll keep on, i'll think of you every step of every walk, i'll keep the dream alive.