at some point i'll go on, making pictures of you without you. i'll stop digging backwards and begin to float on. right now i want to cry and be with you. i'm scared now about how to go on. i hope i don't lose heart. hope i don't get despondent. i have one dog for now and she's so different from you. i remember starting up with her thinking of your age and how you wouldn't be around forever and a puppy would bring me on. now she's grown and you're gone and she's all i have. i'm grateful for her but i miss you. there really are no substitutes, there is no substitute you. but maybe...maybe. i can't even really think of it. i'd be bawling for you. but maybe a golden will come again for me, who knows. the truth is dogs are spiritual pragmatists, and you would say, go, go on, you don't need to worry, just do what you do, all of this is as is should be, and i am both gone and with you now eternally.