i decided i'll gradually go to all the places we would go and get a picture of me without you mister. i haven't been to your house yet. my heart speeds up. i might break down, it's ok if i do, but i'm kind of scared too. ah, in life you spurred my heart too, but this is different, i can't reach down and hug you now. will you be there in your house? maybe now you can be there and with me too, now you aren't stuck in your beautiful arthritic golden body. anyway i'll go to those places we went and you couldn't anymore get to. i hope you'll always go with me honey boy.