i was sitting on the side of the women's circle garden reading mount analogue or trying to read and sighing and laying back looking up and listening to the birds. it's very calm for memorial day and i was, i am grateful. i got a text saying mister was in pain and that he might be near the end. yesterday it seemed more hopeful and i still think it is but i heard the news and cried. this is almost unbearable, the pandemic, depression, relational discord, and mister. then i walked around the harbor and saw people on the beach and looked at the flooded tunnel with wooden walkway and the fence was down so i walked through. it was the first time i saw the lake in five months. i saw a boy with a banjo and asked if i could take his picture and funny enough he said he was thinking the same thing. i had the camera set on diorama and it's not the best for portraits, it's hard to tell what it'll do, but there are a couple of ok ones. 
when i got home r. said how was lulu and i groaned oh no i forgot lulu and ran to get her and luckily she was ok but had been looking for me. she's my only dog for now, how can i forget!