the imperium rages,

the city burns.

gull, helicopter, and swallow over furious city.

the world may go crazy, with pandemics, killer police, riots, and curfews, and i there maybe pictures of other things, but this diary will always be your place, and i will always be about you.

it's getting crazy outside. i like to look at it like a diorama from above but it's scary down there in america.

the stormtrumpers want to start riots. the white terror is gleeful over mass disenfranchisement and mass death, the sick fuck trump wants to be the lord of chaos, and so he is. trump sky alpha was non-fiction. he can smack the world down with his tiny useless hands. the maga-hate mob wants to provoke dissent and crush it. they want to stop the mail, to kill the vote, to cripple the community and watch the people die.

we met bear running through bobolink meadow by chance, actually bear decided to turn in our direction when ben was thinking of turning the other way across the music bridge, and when they skirted around to give us space i said pointer, and she turned to meet us. we met again today by design, by the giant bronze horseman, and tuesday we'll meet again and begin to walk together. 
i believe that even in the human chaos welcome chance and specific grace favors us.

we visit the purple martin spring home. they fly over all the grim borders that threaten and trap the human migration, over burning bolsonaros and terrorist trumps. one day maybe when the furious governments collapse there will be no more nations and no borders and war and disease will subside in peace—and the earth will be a bird jubilee.

human systems are crashing in fury and disease. but me and r. are loving and celebrating mister, the nature sanctuary, and peace.

Great Spirit and all unseen, this day we pray and ask You for guidance, 
humbly we ask You to help us and fellow men to have recourse to peaceful ways of life, because of uncontrolled deceitfulness by humankind. 
Help us all to love, not hate one another.

once we walked this way
we walk here again without you
without your form 
you will flow
formlessly the way
what you love stays with you
what you love you do not lose
what you love you continue

be careful of
take care of
what you love

we live in the midst of a war making empire terrorizing the whole earth. nature will fight back, and people will fight back because there is no choice. ultimately the brutal system has to shut down, no one will be immune to the threat of the fury of this country's hatred and greed. and we must, right away, even in the midst of the violent state, find peace and sanctuary.

we walked to this faraway beach when you were young, mister.

there was a stringy guy sitting behind here on this stone beach. this chunk of sea wall says topper. i'm so glad you don't hurt anymore, but i still wish you were here.

oh mister oh mister oh mister oh i was a little scared i still may be a little scared but not too scared kind of the way you were if you couldn't see me you looked with your eyebrows raised like a little kid i feel like you did like a little kid.

grateful to be.

           the good thing we can do is make a sanctuary for our gratitude.

the trees try to hold onto the land and the water washes the soil away and the trees are left holding stones.