i hate that i feel tense and fraught and mute and i do it to myself. anyway.

i saw that book the warmth of other suns. it was a chicago reads book of the month i believe
and i failed to catch it because i thought it was too popular. now as i read an interview i see that it just became popular again after ten years, because of the pandemic and the police state, and she has a new book called caste.  
    
The term caste...acknowledges the man-made nature of systemic injustice. “We live in an     artificial hierarchy, an infrastructure that was created and is not natural,” she says.

so i ordered the new book, because i think it may describe the way this thing works more than race. the artifice of this society, though not equally, affects everyone. 

we may never get out of this.