i know i have habits of thought that i don't think about and that are thinking me and that i can change by breathing and thinking with my senses. my mind goes off by itself and i'm not here in presence. somehow our shadows, me and little bear crossing spider bridge, remind me i can actually meditate. the presence of shadows indicating the source of light, the slant that inclines within us as we cast our shadows and following. something magical is always going on in the ordinary. listening to julius eastman femenine (1974). as though it was today, made today. magical.