anxiety and swimming. i look up claire weekes and read about floating. floating through anxiety. you don't have to learn to swim to float. the body floats naturally. born of water. 
that's why water is so helpful and calming. and reading in the inland sea, about how if you're in a riptide you don't swim against it, you float, and you swim with it. i've felt the struggle of swimming against the tide, the impending exhaustion. so i've thought about swimming a lot and what it means, but then i struggle on land. so maybe there's a bridge somehow between swimming and walking. i sometimes have felt the floating feeling walking, and even inert and drifting, or writing. maybe the anxiety is root and won't go away, maybe it has evolutionary purpose, but something is needed with the floating, some awareness of where we are existentially, where i am, in particular.