sometimes bear looks at me skeptically i think. i wonder how i think humans are strange— that includes me. i don't learn really—sixty years in i just improvise. i start i start again. actually i do learn to improvise. i thought at some point mister had exhausted me for puppies. but then comet came and we worked it out, and then lulu came and it was a struggle, but we worked it out. i don't know why i can't be more methodical. is it the way i'm born? is it my peculiar instinct?  i'm not a very patient soul. but i'm persistent, and even if i'm erratic i think i'm consistent in my idiosyncratic way. i think when i get the dog and the dog gets me we're ok. i remind myself be patient, though i know i'll be impatient again. i have to be patient with my impatience, my kid, as with a puppy—in this case—bear. i have to patience to my impatience. i have to bring my patience to bear.