some restraint is necessary or we only behave impulsively and dangerously, but when we learn that in collaboration we're more free—that's the common good. then we can be sensible and have self-restraint rather than coercion. i want the dog to understand what freedom means to them as i want to understand what mine means to me. nobody wants to be coerced or to behave to avoid pain. this all reminds me of the patriarchal society. i'm still learning day to day and dog to dog and i can fall back into default modes and coercive habits, but i know the device prong collar teaches the dog that being subdued means avoiding pain and not independent understanding of the joy of walking together for the common good. i've been walking bear only several days but i know she can get it without the pain or the avoidance of the pain. with the avoidance there's still the fear, and if the dog gets excited and forgets the device the pain is worse, then the excitement turns to fear.
i also know a dog can be so different with different people and modes, and i just have to know i'm there for bear and if i can be there also for me then i'm there for me and bear and we'll work it out together.