it still amazes me how fast things changed, though i know it's been happening since before you or i or anyone alive was born. it was happening when people who are dead a long time were alive. it's been coming to us all the time—it always seems sudden as a heartleap though.

i feel more anxious just now, having watched the news again, and i want to go back to dreaming awake if i can, i know i can, mister will help me. that's what i want to say, no matter what was happening, he always grounded me and at the same time made my heart sing.

i didn't watch or read the news for a week by instinct and my instinct is to try to understand things but i can't and it hurts and i know without doubt i was better for it. we have to stay focused and sane and not ingest too much toxic information. what will happen will happen,
including killer police including revolution in the burning city streets, but i'm just in for the ride.
the walk, i mean.