i dreamed i was looking out the window to the west and saw a small plane that was held in place struggling against the wind. suddenly the wind smashed it against the building. i returned to the dream but didn't learn anything. later i move to southern illinois where the couple is buried coincidentally. then i was at granny's house. while she was in the other room i looked for the little bottle of morphine she told me she put in the bedside drawer. i found only a little bottle of perfume. my boot caught the bedsheets and pulled everything into disarray. i woke and my left hand was asleep and arthritic. woke feeling distraught, this can't be right, nothing's fair, nothing is as it should be, it just is.