i feel foolish and i think it's the way i am. i've tried to be calm and collected. i want to love but it's not easy. yet i've seen how love makes everything easier.

last night we saw nomadland. it's quiet, melancholy, beautiful. it's another in the realm of depictions of living that are between or both documentary and narrative. and it seems odd to even ask which. living is translated, narrated. the nomadic life is real, but the country has changed. there's a sad quality to the nomadic life. they don't say goodbye, but see you down the road, even when you die. but it feels like that song the road to nowhere. in the film some people stay in place and others can't, and they have a spirit that i cherish. inside i'm like the nomads, like i used to be, though i was a solitary nomad back then and though i stay in one place now.