i can't tell what's relevant sometimes. things feel relevant and then they don't. who's to say what's relevant? even to oneself. one soul. what is it, soul? soul is what you know deep in your soul. it must be there, yet sometimes i feel irrelevant. in the big picture. i was watching the landing on mars. it was beautiful. beauty must be relevant. is this beautiful, we always ask ourselves. always trying to decide what we know. we know what's relevant. somehow we need to present it. we need to represent. now it's too late and too early. r's gone, all of us left here went to separate places. since i started this one cat, earnest jasper came with a cry like hunger and settled by me, then penny cat came singing plaintively. i patted r's pillow and she lay down after a brief paw tread in her absent place. something in all this is relevant. now the cats are here, i'm going to try to sleep now so i can wake up soon. love, me.