i didn't sleep well til the cats came to bed and then i didn't sleep enough but i dreamed of r's oatmeal and lulu looking for me. i whistled and she turned.

nobody really thought uncle joe was going to make it all better—but he's not. and after donny john it's soul desperate. i'm lucky but i feel it intensely. 

whatever we may think or fear we can't imagine not continuing. sometimes i think our naivete is dangerous and sometimes the only thing that keeps us living.