yesterday with bear a fellow said you have a different dog and said how often he saw me and mister at least half a decade and i explained how mister passed and then bear came and how mister was still continuing yet i put my hand on my heart and felt him missing and the fellow said you two reminded me of the book the art of racing in the rain. i didn't read or see the movie and i assumed it was hokey but i'll try it. 

last night i dreamed in harold park i was dogless and saw a black couple with basset and moved toward them and she stared like who? and i said i think you know my sister and also i said mister and she smiled and he shook my hand this was a time before corona i guess, the dreamtime, i said mister died, and sympathy, then kids were moving through and i looked down and saw a brown felt animal mask flat and wet and she picked it up and we moved off and out of the park, her husband had disappeared while i was explaining too long about mister though it was only a few moments of dreamtime she said they were having dinner and i thought with laura? and are you inviting? but she didn't i said mister just couldn't walk but there was the flash of was it a decision? and i remembered a time years before he couldn't walk and i got him walking again but i know i knew this time was the end but was it a decision? it's so strange to make the decision and then think about it living and dreaming back. was it too soon? yes, i guess. and i wake to start the day with the feeling of never again.