i think—i feel that went well, that that was a good beginning. i don't want to think it's one minute before midnight on the doomsday clock, gnome sane—and i don't want to pretend it'll all be ok. i want to know it is ok, i'm ok and you're ok and we're ok even if it's hard going, i think quitting is the untenable thing. i don't want to go back and curl up in a little ball and pull the covers over my head. i want to continue and to try to make this a better way.