i've been sitting too long sifting images and weeding to make internal space. i see an essay from ann carson about cy twombly scribble drawing and i think i need to go by the water and read kafka's lost writings that weren't really lost and try my own kind of scribbling not like twombly but what kind i might do if i actually drew. oh the thing that caught me about carson's essay was she said her drawing was stupid and that switched on my light thinking hey i can do stupid drawing it can be freeing. i have a heavy self censor so we shall see.