nothing really bad happened, it's just been an awful day. should i say the stupid details? it's already a mush. anyway i have one more dog my new dog mouna and i should be in a better way. i just need to be calm. today i thought i'm moving rapidly toward breakdown, and it ain't just me no matter what they say, it's the human dilemma, but it's me in particular, i don't want to get all grandiose, even about my petty looming personal problems. i never did have a normal to return to, unless it was a low hum steady state of static anxiety, but it's also the state of the state of things that bore me.