it was spose to be we're here. we're alive. but is there a difference, and does it matter? 

i realized that what made me sad in the film dick johnson is dead was the sweet connection of daughter and dad, and the unbridgeable distance between me and my dad. the other day when r. said the day her dad died i realized i didn't even know the day my dad died—i knew his birthday, but i didn't celebrate. and then there was the mother, and she was lost years before she died. and r's mom's in california too close to the fire and my mom's in florida in a hot spot of race haters. and we're here but we're everyone everywhere in a godforsaken hot mess even if trump and his whole damn hateful family croak tomorrow.