it would be alright if i could just be in the moment and play, i know it would. people right nearby don't know where the post-memorial is. are they happy? i don't ask, they don't say. then lulu grabs a marigold fake flower garland and wait and joy and i follow her and she leaves it a trail behind for a red boot from a smashed snowman and now the snowcat head looks like a blue-white earnest elephant.