yesterday my sibs did an ancestry search. ha, before i started this i thought it was going to be about the frightful and precarious state of our forsaken country, titled prospective:grim, but now i think, how funny an image for our family tree. i opted out of the zoom session search and have not hear about the ghosts and skeletons that may have emerged. skeptical about the free two weeks, then the inevitable cost hidden in the free. but i will not be grim in prospect, i will wait and see. 

coincidentally the word of the day is forebear. i think of bear, the animal, the lithe little bear and the hulking round hair bear grandfather stanley, and bear the burden, and before, and i say now and then i can't bear it, but i seldom thing of forebears, what did the bear before i came to be here, there before they were here, in ukraine say, and here when they came. it feels like a separate family tree. a twig was swaddled and put on a boat—grandmother rose—unpacked and watered, propagated here. still it seems we may know more of before we came but it remains a mystery how we came to be here.