it's also possible the sick one staged the whole thing so he could make a maga-rrific 11th hour comeback from the bunker just in time for the big parade, the second term from the terminal second stage, hell, and beyond—he may never die and never leave, i mean, it came from pandemic reality tv. 

nah, it's real, it's him that's fake, he's real sick, he may croak soon, wouldn't that be magarrific?