for one who drowned. should i find his name? whatever. he won't see this. i heard he was a good swimmer so why did he die. whatever i guess it was time. we say whatever a lot this time and it's funny, it's like no probs, we're free, and then dispiriting—nothing matters. his life mattered and then it didn't. he has no more problems in life. the ones who care still do, but whatever, we watch the ledge, watch the tides, take care of the undertow, and live. this is not whatever, this matters what is.