started reading drifts last night. i tried to read that von kleist but it just went on and on— yet it was a short book, short and convoluted. drifts is the third book by kate zambreno i've read. i missed one that came before drifts and they're sequential, one goes into the next, but i think they can be read alone. drifts is about an artist in isolation communing with dead artists. 
i'll post about it.
my knot is still there but less acute. the tension is still throughout but i'm breathing into it. i have talk therapy today and i promise myself to not lift myself by my boost straps and just tell it. it's hard to tell it simply. part of me is not confused if i can get to that part. 
jasper yowls for attention and because he's still hungry as i give him little food so he can keep it down. now he settles down between us. 
before i said i wonder if i would be better mentally if i didn't listen or look at any news. is it possible? what unrest is in me regardless of what is happening in the world?