we probably can't understand everything even of our own past even if we could remember everything which we could never do because we never were omniscient and we thought like kids of our moment hopping or shuffling along disconsolate and we thought the adults knew and one day we would too no hurry and whatever adults were old and boring and we were in a hurry to grow. but we can make a list now of what we lost or thought we lost or wish we had had. we can make a list of the salient things we think happened last week or today at least.