what's my revolution? complicated loss, complicated grief. not individually pathological, but this idea of father absence. dissent from the charged absence, it wants a finite end, dad always indicated get over it kid, i'm here to say i'm not here and won't be. make a difference between depression and sadness. stop medicating sadness. call this ambiguous loss,” which is, somebody’s here, but they’re not here. there’s this type of ambiguous loss, which is physical presence and psychological absence. 
my revolution starts there starts daily i get too tired just go swimming i go whatever.
gotta bury the dead, if you don't know their names. you can't fix it in place. feel the place where you can't fix it. posse comitatus was the phrase in my head on waking. why i don't know, i didn't know what it meant, i must have heard it somewhere, the force of the country? possible force, citizen force, the missing place. the place abandoned where force is left. the abandoned people of the abandoned place.make a memorial where you stand for all the loss all the missing. don't know what to say is the beginning of language of grief. thank god it's not me. can't leave it there. there's a transmission. there's a lot we don't know. a pathology of unresolved grief, pathological nation coming apart, transit to grief. the fact it's meaningless is the meaning. say it and live with it and elsewhere give your meaning good enough. you never wanted closure, that's only real estate. open, and stay. whatever, it's chronic, find a way to not get over it, get on with it.
culture of mastery and weakness. name any name. say the name if you don't know the name ascribe your own name. what you are experiencing is ambiguous loss it's not your fault. that's my revolution, the continuous beginning, the field of ambiguous loss. it's ok all you have to say is i'm sorry as you are.

intertwined with pauline boss talking on being with krista tippett.