i just watched a body cam rescue of a man in the lake with a leash in his hand they used to pull him over the ice wall. i suppose they would have died in no time. 
i miss the ice of a different time, when mister was younger and i was in better shape. now i'm inside watching the drama from a window with a tiny red flower on r.'s mom's crown of thorns. watching as they say the drama unfold, from within, the drama unfold.
i'd like to look now at the pictures of us on the ice in a different time. mister on an ice bridge, mister floating peacefully on a raft of ice, mister like a boddhisattva meditating on the nature of water, his warm form, floating on ice on water, his breath making small clouds.
i'm glad we have the pictures, i'm glad we have survived.