i cycle hourly between hope and despair. i set out with hope, dog to dog, and when i start walking i feel my feet cracking beneath me on the hard uneven ground and despair wafts through my chest. the dogs don't know what's wrong, and they aren't trained too well, not for this. they are accustomed to improvising within the limits of the park and the duration of the walks, but the walks are by necessity shorter, and hilde eats snow maniacally, and they won't poop, and it all goes poorly, and i'm sorry, dogs, i could say i'm doing my best, but i know it's not good enough.