i watched jem bendell, professor of sustainability saying we're not in control anymore, and i'm thinking we probably never were, but the illusion of control is dissipating, and he says 
we need to acknowledge the extinction we're undergoing and prepare for the collapse by embracing what he calls deep adaptation. 
i think i heard of him before, and forgot until he popped up again in an article in counterpunch about the end time. i can't keep that in mind, though it's background to all my thoughts. i think of those cartoons making fun of old nutters with ragged clothes and beards proclaiming the end is nigh, and i always thought, why do they make fun of that, and why so often, you rarely ever see such figures except in cartoons. it must have come from deep anxiety expressed by making fun of people that have deep anxiety, or deep adaptation. or maladaptation. laughably mal. i think about the end time every time i watch these giant cranes and see the towers rise reflecting the sky. i think we're like the birds who crash into the glass sky even though we know it's a glass sky. 
then i saw a documentary about the end of life and the doctor saying we need to have a relationship with death, but we run from this relationship all our lives, until the end when we can't run any more, and we realize we aren't in control anymore, and really never were.
that would be deep adaptation.  
having viable skin will be a boon to deep adaptation, and i don't see my affliction as a dire sign of the end time now that i'm healing, i think, but i feel more fragile, and even less in control.