what if the nation was a fantasy? what if there was no national fantasy? 

i'm reading a post about the berlant opening. about the collapse of the 

political and the personal into one sphere. collapse into sphere, hum.

the collapse is so total that there is no genuine public sphere (  )

A citizen is defined as a person traumatized by some aspect of life in the United States.  -Berlant

cruel optimism means your desire is an obstacle to your becoming. and 

so, the personal is political. as is private fantasy social. 

i'm acting like someone but i'm just a reader reading and mumbling out 

loud as they read. i'm a they. some fantasies try as we may may always 

remain private even as the unconscious may be colonized. there will 

be a natural fringe, a tenuous and fragile resilient skin.

at this point maybe i should read cruel optimism, glean from the 

sourcebook.