the word of the day is percipient. i don't feel percipient, in fact i feel thick in the head. not all the time. i see in flashes sometimes. if you're a slow learner it's ok, learning is the main thing. it's not a race, you couldn't possibly learn everything anyway. you'll forget some, and you may be reminded and remember. 

i took a picture of the obituary of lauren berlant on the bulletin board. the camera was set on toy it could be read. i didn't know who she was til she died. she might be too academic for me, but her phrase cruel optimism resonates. maybe that's all i need. i get that by instinct. i wish i could talk to her, but i would have been too shy. anyway the connection could be there without meeting, even without reading. i can't read everything, there has to be a kind of astral-mental gleaning, i think. i would ask how she relates cruel optimism to obomba and obombaland. i'm listening to what she might say.