i had the sense of blunt impact today, maybe a warning. the air is bad and may be why my vision is dim. i didn't go to the water, not wanting to risk being on the bike riding around with machines. glad i only have lulu and i can be still and feed the cats and read pessoa the rest of the day and into the night. i think i'll make me a salad and watch tarkovsky, the mirror, tonight. 

i think the sense of dismay about what i've done and what i might have done is receding. or ebbing anyway.