Thursday, July 15, 2021

Phosphorescence by Cynthia Cruz


Photographs of photographs and Polaroids 

of stacks of books on fragments

and photographs and pamphlets

on letters sent and imminent
 
collisions. What the body does not know
 
it wants. And the mind.

In the song I wrote,

I said I wanted to be 

like you, but then

I pulled back.

I am afraid most of the time

of my own intensity.

Not its kinesis, its brilliant light

and energy, but that it might

frighten you.

I have tried my whole life

to contain it, hold it

back. Make myself

into the perfect song,

the most contained

poem. But now I am

letting go of all that.

I have taken to photographing

my every moment

in an attempt to locate

the place where I lost myself.

When the body and the mind conflate

or, rather, when the body and language.
 
That is the moment I have been waiting for.

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