i could blame it on the heat haze of the neoliberal or fascist if you prefer pandemic fires or the frackéd offgassing or youthful abandon in old age but i just spaced out the phrase cruel, cruel, cruel—look it up!—optimism! just when i was admitting i may be lacking the higher education to read the book. i'm a gleaner anyhow. i used to be an english major, but i sort of revel in bad english. just spare me the higher ed. jargon. my they is old school different from he or she or you. the good thing is my head's still on and my toe's not broke i think after 3 dogs stepped on it and i jammed it on a pack of water bottled without a yowl. i always since i was a radical kid knew optimism in this national normative instance was cruel.