lulu with her mouth like a bucket drinks too much water and i can see her doing it but how to stop it i don't know. let's see, maybe if she doesn't have the squeaky ball less water will flow in inadvertently. then will she still drink too much? anyway i have to get her out earlier so she can walk and pee before home. and then close her in the kitchen. least there she only has her bed. she peed on all the family beds. every one? i feel like a jerk. so much going on and that's all we need, of course i get all the fun and they get the pee beds. 
well that kind of bums me out, and it was a real good time we had (at the family expense).
joy means a lot and she sure was full of that (as well as water). 
i talked for a long time with a fellow in the park who knew me from afar for years and he said i always looked like i was on a mission. i was but much of the time i was lost and all the time i was at the humble and sometimes humiliating beginning. i feel like i am learning yet i'm always at the beginning. sometimes i feel like i'm unlearning more than i'm learning, a lifetime of prejudicial learning, the stupid status quo. and after i unlearn that shit i have to learn to be aware and connect my awareness and i have to return to common sense as the commons are continually being stolen and destroyed including people's minds. anyway i digress right, it's all connected still i digress. i'm just trying to feel ok or better and due to lulu peeing the beds due to my bringing her swimming i feel bad. can i feel good if i keep fucking up? i can't feel good if i cause trouble or suffering in this horrible pandemic time, but dog, we got to swim, right? it's like a hundred degrees, and my eyeballs are dry and sad. oh but we had fun, and that counts too, right?
yelda got lulu's ball and lulu was cool, lulu wanted yelda more than the ball anyway.