i slept a little. my head is groggy. my throat is a clogged drain. my stomach rumbles. i don't know how i will face the crisis today. i put out feelers for a spirit healer. maybe that's a fantasy. my back is stiff. i have to start from here. i'm not well in mind spirit and body. start from here. it's dark out. the world is running on exhaust. i hear the wheels and engines, see the lights flash in the grid. i'll never understand it. i may never understand myself. in it. but i'm in it. i'm in a mess, i'm in the world. i fed the cats, cleaned the box, i'll go from dog to dog and come back here where i start. we'll try again for some peace and we'll try to kindle some intimate light, as we have before. we start here.