apple meditation.

we will have learned to love when our default response to unfortunate moments is not to feel aggrieved  but to wonder what damaged aspects of a partner's rocky past have been engaged.
annoying characteristics almost always have their roots in childhood, long before our arrival.
they are, for the most part, strategies that were developed for coping with stresses that could not be processed by the immature mind.

alain de botton,
the school of life