now i'm relieved and heartbroken and seething angry all at once. they cut him open to diagnose probable pancreatic cancer that turns out to be pancreatitis which could have been diagnosed without surgery it seems. i've heard from my vet friend that two of her friends have told her their story with hpac this week, and the other one was worse. it's done, and i'll get past this somehow. he could have died 4 years ago from the rope toy or the rope toy surgery, and so we can be grateful he's alive. he could have died again this time from unnecessary surgery. if i am wrong i will amend this, but this is my understanding now, and i know it's not simply reactionary. there probably will never be another dog like him in my life, but i have to have humility. he's not my dog. and i'm glad i still have him.