going home. it's been a harrowing week. we thought he had cancer and was soon to die. we were being prepared for the worst, so we are relieved, given life instead of death. what do we do with it. a kind of torture. we are being prepared for the worst. ok. i need to get up, get him outside to relieve himself. i need to pack up his bed and his supplies and put him in the vehicle. i'm in my own crisis, i'm trapped inside my life. everybody alive wants freedom. how do we get free.

 but we came back from death. remember this.