precious desolation.

hit by a wave. i saw these kids sitting on the sea wall and i'm like mister i just sidle closer though mister can't see far so i actually sidle sometimes before he. i gave these kids from philly the address and we'll see them but first i have to air my sorrow and well, despair. my affliction is flaring again, just in my right foot, but the intimations are devastating already. last time i was completely overtaken and i lived in constant fear i would never be free again. and today the lady at walgreens said yeah it's a lifelong thing and i still can't believe it, though that's the way it feels in the pit of my soul, my gut. 

so many people have it so much worse. some are living under violent occupation, some are climate refugees, war refugees, fleeing the rich man's war on terror, in their own stolen and destroyed country, some are asylum seekers in prisons, separated from their families, tortured and sick in heart and body. i feel for all the beings suffering, i feel for them in my own suffering body, knowing how much worse it can be.