normal life is exhausting. 

simply living is hard, to me.

we saw a couple from the building, always holding hands, and smiling, and i wonder how. what do they talk about together? is the inside of their dyad similar to what i see? i feel the ground vibrating. is it the earth, or the grid? or is it my bones quaking inwardly, feeling toward common ground? the continual state of normal emergency. it seems as though they don't feel that, and therefore it must be only a partial reality- not their normal life. it must be me. i want so dearly to walk lightly, but my bones are laden with the marrow of gravity.

and yet, our couple is entirely right, it is a beautiful morning, of course, i agree, i feel that way too.