and then depression can turn into disappointment and be more focused but chronic disappointment can turn into depression, but like i was disappointed at not being able to get in the water and meanwhile i was not depressed but engaged with the idea of being in the water and swimming and the fustration of being held back but then i got in anyway and the  today was so calm i'll show you a picture and i was neither depressed nor disappointed literally swimming with  my golden angel in perfect bliss. perfection cannot be sustained but it can be celebrated and recalled and inspire the faith in the return of bliss.