i woke early. the clouds called me out to the fire escape while i made coffee. i read the art news. an artist impressed me with her subtle attention. the way she saw things was like touch. she fondly held things with tactile sight. i saw a film last night about simone weil by an activist/witness/filmmaker whose father was a suicide and whose brother killed himself as she finished the film. the filmmaker was surely in love with simone weil. she hired an actor to play her so that she could talk to her, she wanted to know why she ambiguously killed herself. she wanted to know why she went to religion. anna brown said for weil you didn't get to the realm of faith or the supernatural until reason had been completely exhausted. there really wasn't anywhere else to go. simone weil said attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. that we have to try to cure our faults by attention and not by will. she said attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer. it presupposes faith and love. absolutely unmixed attention is prayer. if we turn our mind toward the good, it is impossible that little by little the whole soul will not be attracted thereto in spite of itself. 
i put tea tree oil on the itch in the center of my right sole. the cracks have not widened and do not hurt. the itch remained but did not keep me awake. i put tea tree oil on this morning. while i write this my sole does not itch. it may be that my fear exaggerated my condition based on my past condition, both early and late. i will swim this morning. i will get some new shoes perhaps today at the shoe corral. i had a dream just before i woke. we were climbing down a very deep stone path. mister was with me, nearsighted. he stepped to the edge and looked straight down much farther than he could see. i guided him back to the path and woke. 
that's where i am now.