i was telling sarah that last r. saw mr. was after the unwanted surgery and she said that seems a long time ago and i realized it does, it seemed a long time had passed, but it wasn't long ago it felt fresh and sad and it really was a short while ago but memory burrows painful things and so much has happened since then. three weeks ago today we went to the crow parade which seems also like the past, and wouldn't happen today. the time was becoming more pressured, more repressive, more autocratic, urgent, more surveilled more technologically driven, more toxic, more frightening, and the memory burrowing apace.
will there be a time when memory is of today, when memory plays in time like water, buoyed, not burying? the fog is thick this morning, the residue of last night, dreams lingering, spread over the pandemic quiet city.