and when a big change comes we recall all the small changes as they were, once, adding up.

we remember what we were told and also what we were not told—the staggering disaster the staggered changes incrementally foretold. looking back we see the incremental stages descending in stunted order.

and again we were surprised—we want to say we were not apprised—meaning we are stunned awake—anyway, resentful we could not resist, what catastrophe is this?, we'll try to prepare for this now, too late, we'll avoid change, whenever possible we'll remain, we will always be, nothing is as always so unprepared.