i was going to write down the differences being back but i didn't have the energy-the heart? the heart energy, pumped out. you have to go home sometime, you can't just keep going forth and leave it behind, it will drag you back in the labyrinth of your mind if not to the physical place, and what place is physical anyway. you carry home everywhere, either as a gift or a kind of invasion. i don't want to occupy or invade. that's what the nation does. i want to be a good companion. i want to make peace with my home, to make my home peace.